Goodbye, Grandpa...

Marion Eldon Wolfe ... June 15, 1921 - June 23, 2008

My grandfather passed away early Monday morning after a lengthy battle with cancer. Last Friday, my grandmother called and said he'd had a rough night Thursday and asked us to visit. To be honest, I had been putting off visiting for awhile with too many excuses....he's too sick to deal with the girls around, he's been at this stage many times before and pulled through, yada yada yada. I'm ashamed to even admit that. But I really felt we needed to go. He was in the health center at their retirement home, which was great as my grandmother could easily get back & forth to their apt. and visiting him. I was shocked when we walked in the room how quickly he had changed since we'd last seen him, which wasn't long. His hair was completely gone, wasn't wearing his glasses (and I had NEVER seen him without his glasses!), couldn't wear his dentures, and had dropped another 20 lbs as he wasn't able to keep anything down. But he was alert, he knew we were there. As soon as the girls walked in he smiled huge and put out his hand and asked them to come closer. Unfortunately they were a bit scared of him but I think he understood. Though he was weak and in pain, we were able to have a conversation with him, and he even cracked a few jokes. Which if you knew my grandpa was not usual! :) I am so very thankful we went when we did, as on Saturday when my aunt & uncle visited him he was hardly talking and drifting in and out of sleep. Completely different than our visit. When we went back Sunday he was completely uncommunicative. He was aware of things and people but couldn't respond, and had begun to have involuntary movements and was taking no food or water. He died about 6:30 Monday morning.

The memorial service was held today and it was just a beautifully done service. About a year or so ago we were having dinner with them, and met the chaplain and Dan took him aside and talked to him about my grandfather and our uncertainty in his spiritual beliefs. I praise God that the chaplain took that to heart and started making regular visits to him and talked about some deep stuff about where he thought he was going after he died. In the process, he made a friend. I don't think that hit me until the service today that he was grieving as well.

My grandfather was not an easy person to get to know, nor was he a warm fuzzy type of guy. But the last few days with family talking about him, and poring through piles of photographs, it really gave me some insight into who he was. Hearing memories from others outside of the family that had met him, especially people at their retirement home, really meant a lot. They saw so many things about him that I hadn't taken the time or effort to see. I regret that. But I really feel the memorial service did him justice - I think he was looking down on us nodding his head in agreement. He was not an emotional, mushy guy and a service like that would certainly have not been befitting of who he was. I think this was just right.

He was an engineer and had an analytical mind. Loved science fiction. Math and numbers fascinated him and he was extremely knowledgeable in this area. A computer geek from way back. Loved to tinker and build and fix things. He was a history buff. Spent hours researching his family tree (and I think went all the way back to the year 600!). A lover of puns, he often heard us groaning over his bad jokes. Most of all he was a thinker. You could just see him sitting there quietly (which he most often did) and the wheels were turning.

Here are a few pictures of him - I love to see old pictures and I've had a great time the last two days going through his old photos and seeing not only how he looked before I knew him, but getting a small glimpse of who he was when he was younger.

I can't even imagine what he is experiencing in Heaven right now!! The things that he is seeing and learning and experiencing....and the fact that he is able to walk freely and upright which is something he's been unable to do for years, is just amazing. Watching the process of someone dying is incredible, and you could see at the end that he must have had one foot in this world and one foot already reaching into heaven. It's mind-boggling, and incomprehensible. But we today are blessed and encouraged and excited to know that he is living with Jesus and experiencing utter joy like we can not even comprehend.

Goodbye, Grandpa. Say hi to Jesus for me, and try to spare him of the puns! :)